Blessed is that man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8 ESV

Eight years ago, I experienced the worst year of my life. Tragedy came to my family in a way that threatened to break us all. Every member of my family was broken and although we tried to help each other, relationships were strained within the family because of the sheer weight of the pain and trauma we each were forced to bear. The Lord had allowed evil and pain to touch us in ways we could not have imagined. The pain seemed unbearable. I was crushed. The Lord knew and He was with me, but the pain in my heart was unrelenting. I loved Him but could not see a way forward. Initially, I spent my days in a fog eating and sleeping very little, unable to think clearly and accomplish even the most basic tasks. I cried and I prayed and I waited on the Lord.

Glimmers of Hope

In time, the weight of the tragedy lifted slightly, and I began to resume my life. Little by little, I returned to my responsibilities, seeking to serve although I was not the person I had been before. The depth of pain created wounds in me and changed me. But I knew that I was God’s child and He would carry through the places I was unable to walk. I felt as though I was stumbling through my life. God was keeping me, I knew that, so I did the best I could to carry on. I felt like a shell of a person, but relied on the faithfulness of God, knowing He was strong, unchanging and kind. My world had crumbled, but God was there in the rubble.

At the beginning of the following year, we began to work on statistics for the ministry the Lord had entrusted to me. We crunched the numbers to report to the supporters of the ministry as a means of accountability to them and to the Lord. I was astounded when presented with the fact that we had started the same number of ministries that year that we had started in the previous four years combined. Only the Lord could have done that.

The Very Big God

In a year when it was a genuine struggle for me to get out of bed due to grief and sorrow, the Lord had doubled the size of our ministry, His ministry. I had always known that the work was wholly His, but this underlined that truth in an undeniable way. I was wounded, broken in ways that seemed beyond repair to me and God was faithful. He showed His strength and faithfulness to me. In our first ten years of ministry, this year of pain stands out as the largest year of growth- a testament to God and His power and sovereignty.

Our God is powerful. He is unchanging. He sometimes allows painful circumstances in our lives and we can never fully understand why. We do not have to understand; we only need to trust in His goodness. When the fire and the drought come, we can know that He will hold us. Our roots are planted deeply in Him and they are not touched by the cruel circumstances. We are safe. When we are unable, God is able.