Just lately, I find what I know in my heart and believe in my head are disconnected. Weirdest thing ever, and not surprising at all.
I look around at everything people are losing this season, and sometimes it’s hard to believe there’s a God of the Universe who is all good and loving.
Gasp.
The heartbreak…
As a sold-out-to Jesus, arms lifted high-Christian for 30+ years, did I just publish that? I did. My head sees heartbreak and devastation. Mass graves and decimated communities. Fear for livelihoods and fights over toilet paper. Neighbors crossing the street to avoid their friends. I hear the longing in teachers and students voices as they try to have class over a groaning internet connection.
And I understand why people might question if there’s a God who cares. That’s my head.
But then…
I also see a 99-year-old raising millions of pounds in the UK to support healthcare workers. Go and Google Captain Tom Moore, and be amazed. When I venture out (in my mind picturing a cavewoman scouring the land to feed her babies, armed with gloves and hand sanitizer instead of a trusty club), grocery store staff smile more. People greet each other and chuckle, because you can’t see a smile under a facemask, but the eyes don’t lie. Delivery food has become an amazing treat. Gratitude for the simple things we so often took for granted, has been amplified.
I see people stepping out and risking their health to provide for high risk neighbors, businesses donating meals, breweries making disinfectant, tour bus companies providing respite places for medics coming off very long shifts, thousands of people applauding the incredible bravery of frontline workers, leaders in the arts giving their craft away for free online…and the stories of everyday heroism go on and on.
And it’s easy to see God in acts like these. There’s my heart.
The Bible has never shied away from, or encouraged us to avoid, the difficult questions. We have minds and the power of independent thought for a reason. But I think we have to use the capability carefully.
I recently heard a sermon and the following point from Pete Grieg has resonated ever since: instead of asking the Lord why a situation has occurred, ask Him where He is in that situation. Further to that, Bob Hostetler, leaning on the story of Job, suggests we ask ‘what now’ because that’ll lead us to what our response should be.
The prayer…
And isn’t this what James talks about when he discusses that bearing fruit is a response to salvation? My head and my heart are unified in this prayer – Lord, let me be Your hands and feet in this. Show me how I can reach out to serve others in tangible ways and demonstrate a trust in what You choose to accomplish. Help my mind zero in on Your truth when I’m faced with question or doubt.
To check out Pete Grieg’s excellent book on prayer, click here…
If you’d like to read Bob Hostetler’s great Guideposts post, it’s here…
Or if you’d like to read a few more of my thoughts on life, they’re here…