“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:4-5). 

Have you ever read the back of the box of your Christmas lights? I have. The WARNING label goes a little like this:

These lights are overrated and prone to burn out. They tangle like your daughter’s hair in the pool. They blow over, on top of, and off your house. Sorry, if you’re disappointed. I assure you; you are not alone. 

Then, the last cautionary words: Keep out of inclement weather.

Wait? What? They’re outdoor lights, right? And when is it ever not inclement weather in Ohio?

OF COURSE I continued this tradition when the lights we bought brand new last year didn’t light at all this year. I read the WARNING label paraphrased again. Not much has changed, really. Except…maybe…I’m starting to question why we keep hanging outdoor lights up in the actual outdoors. Why do I let my tinsel get in such a tangle over such silly things at Christmastime? I don’t know, but complicating Christmas is an easy thing to do. 

My desire for super sparkly moments (and the disappointment when they don’t show up) shines a light on my pursuit of unreachable standards. But also, a limelight on my heart’s true focus. I admit, sometimes I fumble through. Especially, when I feel the pushing, rushing. But true to the redemptive story of Jesus’ birth, when we know Jesus—we’re never in the dark, not completely, anyway. Truth in who Jesus is and the trust of His birth can untangle our spirits and light the way. 

Sparkle

It’s good, I think, when certain light loses its luster. It seems when we let things “outshine” they can light up spaces not intended for them. Perfect joy can be so easily misinterpreted this way, I know. I’m (still) learning there is a way of living—a merging of my actual, day-to-day life and the sparkly moments I long for—that can coexist and wrap around each other in faith, We can enjoy an inside-outside joy. Which is kind of the same as outdoor lights shining, thriving, and lighting up the wild outside, year after inclement year.

I remember, though, the moment I understood that the brightest moments of the season, the richest, required a deep reach “outside” of myself: It was the Christmas I lost my mom. I was 21, and I thought I could force good feelings to fill in the spaces where grief had settled. I tried to power through and couldn’t. I remember visiting the gravesite in tears. I made a pine blanket for my mom, in tears. I hung all the sentimental ornaments on our tree, in tears. Finally, I allowed the grief to come. But LIGHT showed up too! Life didn’t look, feel, or happen at all like I’d envisioned, but you know what did happen?

Christmas!

The Thrill of Hope 

This is what I know: There were a lot of things worth loving about Christmas that year despite grief and the grave. A birth, for instance. Because a few short weeks before, I’d prayed by my mom’s bedside and handed over every dream and fleshy hope I had to Jesus. I didn’t totally grasp—and still don’t—what the gift of Jesus’ birth meant to my life, to the birth of my soul. I just know that there were holes in my heart, and then those holes lined up and let small fragments of light in. And Light punctured the darkness like pieces of glitter across the expanse of a night sky:

“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1: 4-5). Jesus outshines. Both life-giver and light-bearer, Jesus is telling us, “I am the way through the darkness to God.” The birth of Jesus ignited light! And there’s something wholly sacred and beautiful when we consider Christmas as a time to celebrate, pray, praise and forge forward through hard things with this hope. I really, really love the thought of Christmas as a chance to pass the love of Jesus on to others. While dark days can try to tie our thrill up in knots, our shiny reason to celebrate has never burned brighter.

In John Chapter 8, Jesus told His disciples, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12). Merry and bright can be our gift this Christmas. Merry Christmas and may His light shine!