“Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. Truly I tell you, they have their reward. But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Matthew 6:5-6
I’ve always had a difficult relationship with prayer. For a variety of reasons, prayer was hard for me. My ADHD mind would wander. I’d struggle to see the purpose of it because God didn’t send an angel down to distribute miracles as soon as I said amen. Every lesson I’d ever heard about prayer felt formulaic and performative. While I knew prayer was important because Jesus says so, I could not bring myself to see it as anything other than boring posturing.
The Difference
It wasn’t until recently that I was convicted over the difference between saying a prayer and kneeling to pray. Figuratively speaking, of course, because, you know, arthritis. Yes, Jesus gives many instructions on how to pray. One can study the model prayer that comes a few verses after today’s passage and see the types of things Jesus wants us to pray about. But I don’t think we are meant to follow a checklist. Have you ever seen a young child run into the house hollering for Mom or Dad? Sometimes it’s to tattle on their brother who either ran over their foot with a tricycle or punched them in the nose. Or because they’re hurt . Sometimes it’s because they found a perfectly shaped leaf or just won the spelling bee for the whole school.
Bursting to Tell
Big or small, it’s possible to see a child running to tell the story to their parent with equal enthusiasm no matter the magnitude of the news. It’s about sharing the passion, conveying information that feels – to them – excessively important in that moment, and including this well-loved authority in their life. Many times this babbling is incomprehensible to anyone other than the parent in question.
This is how we should pray.
So many people won’t say a prayer in public because they are thinking about the other people listening. But when we pray, it should be about talking to God. We are the child running to our father to tell him that our favorite author has put out a new book and our uncle has been diagnosed with cancer or our car has a flat tire or our neighbor needs to know Jesus and we’re terrified to start that conversation. That’s how I read these verses in Matthew. It isn’t about not praying with others because God wants us to come to him together and worship in that way. He wants us to come before him in agreement and include him in our lives.
How it’s Done
But he wants us to pray to him. Not for others to hear. Not to sound important or guilt trip someone. And not to make a point we aren’t willing to make in conversation because we might be confronted. As God says, if our prayer is said for others then our only reward is the human reaction we receive from those who heard. When we pray to God, the reward is a relationship with him. The reward is remembering we have a father to run to. It’s having a father who truly can kiss it and make it all better if that is what will bring him glory and make us holy. The reward is having a father who can hold and strengthen us when making it all better isn’t the best choice.
The Challenge
I’ve vowed this year to stop saying prayers. I won’t be saying a blessing before a meal just because it’s expected. I won’t be bowing my head in a church service just in case someone else is watching. Nor will I spend time worrying about what others will think about what I say in a corporate situation.
Instead, I am going to pray. I am going to run to my father and tell him all the things. I’m going to remember that whatever version of Dear God I start with, it is a direct immediate access line to the omnipotent Creator. I’m going to remember that it’s a conversation and not a voicemail.
I am going to pray. And I challenge you to do the same.
Award-winning author, Kristi Ann Hunter, has been a lover of stories from a very young age. Now she spins her faith and humor into romantic tales set in Regency England. Her books include A Noble Masquerade and Vying for the Viscount. They celebrate the fact that God created people in His image and offers His grace to all. When she isn’t writing or consuming large amounts of Chick-fil-A diet lemonade, she works on her podcast, A Rough Draft Life, and spends time with her family and working with the youth at her church.
Visit Kristi Ann’s website
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